Tough Twinkie

Nah, Treatment Has More to Say Important notice: there is mention of depression, loss, and grief. Read it when you feel ready. Treatment — that was done and over, right? Well, no. There’s a new performance in the circus line-up. The medical term is perimenopause . This magician has a hat full of tricks — forgetfulness, stiff joints, muscle aches, hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings… and apparently, ‘not giving a frick’ can trickle out. That one, I’m actually okay with — finally, a useful skill to hoard in my adult toolbox. Before I could ride along with zero fricks, I landed in a stint of depression. Hold up — a bonus level of despair in the hat? Radiating positive numbers, my lab results confirmed that my body was bouncing back and normalizing. Overall, the outcomes from chemotherapy and surgery were positive, even “delightfully unexpected,” as the care team shared. Full of hope, I wanted to move on with life. I threw a celebration to close the past and honor a healthy start. But ...

To Enjoy ME Time Hey, it’s me, Tough Twinkie. Yes, I’m still marching through treatment, and even though  chemotherapy infusions are over and the surgery is done, I’m still in treatment. I’ll tell you all about it, I pinky promise. But right now, I’ve got some tea to spill. Between the never-ending appointments, I’ve discovered something shocking: I CAN DRIVE my own self around. Imagine that — a fully grown 33-year-old adult behind the wheel. Shocking, right? If you see me on the road, just scoot over, please. I’m enthusiastic these days, I’ve got places to be and people to see! My busy thumbs will make their grand return to this blog after the holiday season. While I’m “out of office,” I’ll be greasing up my digits because—PLOT TWIST—the treatment circus has tagged in menopause and it brought along joint stiffness. More on that soon. Well folks, thank you for your continued support, and enjoy the end of 2025. I won’t hold back from welcoming in a new year (and neither should you) ...

Now a Tough Twinkie Recently, I wrote an article for the local newspaper since October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Check it out: https://soprissun.com/breast-cancer-and-the-trapeze-of-self-empowerment/

So NOT CLEAN “Ain’t nobody as stench as me — I’m just so NOT FRESH , and so NOT CLEAN .” It’s time my favorite duo, Outkast, tag in for the circus. Here I sit, marinating in my own limited-edition stench, packaging it up like a holiday candle no one asked for. “I love when you sniff, then scatter away from me — I’m just so NOT FRESH , and so NOT CLEAN .” Even the dogs are quarantined from my orbit. Baby wipes and sponge baths recommended after surgery, but… “I’m the itchiest grasshopper on the planet. (In my mind) there’s a flea infestation closing in — go on and panic.” Adhesive bandages are the latest act in this freak show: glued into my skin, protruding rashes and blisters. “Got me thinkin’… we fling open that patio, Crank that stank like a rodeo, Buck a bronco, let it go!” Coated in itchy rashes and stench… the time came to pack it up, freak show! At the clinic the bandages were removed and finally my skin could breathe. A few more sponge baths over a few days and the itchy rashes...

Hair is Back, Tell a Friend How will the new sprouts on my head grow in? Throughout chemo, my adorable  niece (loose compliment) loved pointing out my bald head. Once she gasped, “OH WOW! I wouldn’t recognize you in public with no hair.” Cute, right? Well, “Guess who’s back? Back again?” That’s right, the hair on Shea’s. . . no, not on my chinny, chin, chin, but on my scalp, finally ! So it is time for a vote.  Cleo (and the rest of you), state your opinions. . . or your bets, on how the hair will regrow. The first person to guess correctly wins a chia pet! Options Include: 1. Slime-Shady Blonde & Straight. 2. Slime-Shady Brown, Straight Remix. 3. Ron the Weasel Red & Straight. 4. Hairtrix Dark & Straight. 5. Timberlake-Noodles Blonde & Curly. 6. Timberlake-Noodles Brown & Curly. 7. Shaun-That-Ain’t-White, Red Curls / Waves. 8. Timothee-Let-Us-See Dark Curls. 9. Trebek-Ya-Didn’t-Expect White & Straight. 10. Muaha-Mu-GOT-YOU White Curls.

Not in my Calendar = NOT REAL Breaking Report:   Nurses at the infusion center warned Tough Twinkie that “Chemo Brain is real.” Sources confirm she believed them… sort of. In  the same way people “believe” Mercury is in retrograde. Dismissively. Early infusions showed only minor lapses of memory. After the final infusion, round  6, the condition escalated. Witnesses say entire appointments vanished from memory. “Um, my bad?” said Twinkie in a press release. Experts have since confirmed: if it’s not written in the official calendar or backed by a blaring phone alarm, then the event does not, in fact, exist in this reality.  The Tough Twinkie administration urges friends and family to proceed with caution and with paper trails. It is advised to hate the game (chemo) and not hate the player (Tough Twinkie).