Paskahousu

It Means “Shit Pants”

Details from Chemotherapy Infusion #2:

Channeling Grandma Elvera again. Lately, that stern, no-nonsense Finnish woman seems to rise up from within me. I catch her reflection in the mirror bundled in a robe and head wrapped tight. Her sharp, unforgettable phrases tumble out of my mouth, like the Finnish paskahousu, (PAH-SKA-HO-SOU) literally, "shit pants." It’s as if time folded in on itself, passing down her habits — equal parts sisu (grit) and grace.

I feel her presence with me on this health journey, standing nearby with arms crossed and expression unreadable but her heart quietly full. Much like myself during a recent weekend away. My own arms were crossed protectively over my gut as I half-laughed at the very real threat of becoming a paskahousu on the streets of Denver. Not exactly the title I desired to earn. Still, I was out in the world and deeply grateful to be.

Round two of chemotherapy delivered fewer side effects, although the couple that showed up? Absolute jerks. “Cream of Constipation” held me hostage for 5 miserable days. When I thought I negotiated my release, the real carnival of chaos rolled in. Enter: diarrhea. Apologies for the visual but there is no delicate way to put it and honesty is my policy, even when it’s messy.

So yes, paskahousu was a real and present danger for 5 long days, casting an unpredictable shadow over my vacation. Yet the Finnish sisu (grit) runs in my veins. Even if things had gone south (literally) I would’ve stood there, arms crossed, face unreadable, ready to take anyone out. I’m a Tough Twinkie and guess what? Tough Twinkies don’t fold — not to chemo, not to chaos, and definitely not to crap.

Comments

  1. DianaAugust 4, 2025 at 7:57 AM

    I am loving this blog and find this one particularly hilarious. Having gone through this myself, I can relate! I never left home without tissues in all pockets (which were later washed and dryed), change of clothes, Imodium (once doc convinced me I don’t need to poop out all the poison of chemo as I thought I did), and a pad. OMG, seriously the worst!

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