Magic 8-Ball Says: Emotionally Dehydrated

How to Respond While Falling Apart

Instead of stumbling for answers to the dreaded “How are you?”, I started consulting my Magic 8-Ball. Here is what it says through the lens of chemo side effects, exhaustion, and just trying to survive the circus:

1. Under Reconstruction
Yes, I’m still here. No, I’m not available. Tried rebooting but all I got was an error message, Fresh Out of Feelings.

2. “Gag Me With a Spoon”
Just kidding — it’s pills, supplements, and a task list longer than a Costco receipt taped to my last nerve.

3. Nah, It’s Nap Time
Somewhere over the rainbow, my hopes and dreams are yodeling without me. Probably dressed in matching jumpsuits too.

4. Are We There Yet?
Even the TV looks like it’s melting off the wall from the psychological heat of binge-watching The Bear.

5. Walk it Out
Oh wait — thighs on fire just from the stairs? So clutch! Now let’s trick my body into cardio… by standing on a vibration plate like a Tickle-Me-Elmo.

6. . . Anyone? Anyone?
All operators vanished into another dimension. Please shout your message into the void. Responses are not guaranteed. Goodbye.

No doubt the emotional labor is dehydrating, sucking every drop of energy and patience. Despite all that, here stands Tough Twinkie — like a stubborn Magic 8-Ball, shaken hard, and cracked around the edges. Wounded? Absolutely! But defeated? Don’t count on it.

Comments

  1. JeannineAugust 1, 2025 at 7:25 PM

    You are a very talented writer sweet girl! Your perseverance will pay off! Sending strength and love!

    ReplyDelete
  2. DianaAugust 4, 2025 at 8:16 AM

    I remember when I was going in for round 3/6 and everyone kept saying “yay, you are half way done, you are ALREADY at # 3!” In my mind, I was ONLY at #3 and that was NOT half way😭. You are allowed to be and feel how you want right now. In the end we all get through this. And you my friend, are doing it with an awesome sense of humor (that can go a long way). And I know you aren’t laughing all the time because it freaking sucks a lot of the time! I wish I could remember some of my responses to “how are you doing?” I can’t imagine what came out of my mouth🤦‍♀️.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Guess Who’s Back?

Image
Hair is Back, Tell a Friend How will the new sprouts on my head grow in? Throughout chemo, my adorable  niece (loose compliment) loved pointing out my bald head. Once she gasped, “OH WOW! I wouldn’t recognize you in public with no hair.” Cute, right? Well, “Guess who’s back? Back again?” That’s right, the hair on Shea’s. . . no, not on my chinny, chin, chin, but on my scalp, finally ! So it is time for a vote.  Cleo (and the rest of you), state your opinions. . . or your bets, on how the hair will regrow. The first person to guess correctly wins a chia pet! Options Include: 1. Slime-Shady Blonde & Straight. 2. Slime-Shady Brown, Straight Remix. 3. Ron the Weasel Red & Straight. 4. Hairtrix Dark & Straight. 5. Timberlake-Noodles Blonde & Curly. 6. Timberlake-Noodles Brown & Curly. 7. Shaun-That-Ain’t-White, Red Curls / Waves. 8. Timothee-Let-Us-See Dark Curls. 9. Trebek-Ya-Didn’t-Expect White & Straight. 10. Muaha-Mu-GOT-YOU White Curls.
Read more

Twinkie Tries Cocktail 1

Chemotherapy Infusion #1 The first infusion was May 2nd, 2025. For 1 week the body aches, the headaches, and the muscle tension kept me hunkered down and sunk into the couch. I could barely stand up and instead of walking I hobbled around the apartment and between my place and my parents’ (depending on the next infusion, I might need a cane). For a handful of days I could hardly eat. The first obstacle was constipation. When that passed I experienced diarrhea immediately after I ate, so instead I drank broth, teas, and water. Then there were a couple of days that my mouth was inflamed and even drinking water hurt my teeth. So 1-week after the first chemotherapy infusion and FINALLY I could consume food and drink without side effects. It seemed like the wave of symptoms ended!  Oh how silly of me to be hopeful. My sinuses dried up and I experienced insane nose bleeds out of nowhere. I had to shoot up from the couch or the bed and race to the bathroom to toss my face into the sink. I...
Read more

Fade Away?

Nah, Treatment Has More to Say Important notice: there is mention of depression, loss, and grief. Read it when you feel ready. Treatment — that was done and over, right? Well, no. There’s a new performance in the circus line-up. The medical term is perimenopause . This magician has a hat full of tricks — forgetfulness, stiff joints, muscle aches, hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings… and apparently, ‘not giving a frick’ can trickle out. That one, I’m actually okay with — finally, a useful skill to hoard in my adult toolbox. Before I could ride along with zero fricks, I landed in a stint of depression. Hold up — a bonus level of despair in the hat? Radiating positive numbers, my lab results confirmed that my body was bouncing back and normalizing. Overall, the outcomes from chemotherapy and surgery were positive, even “delightfully unexpected,” as the care team shared. Full of hope, I wanted to move on with life. I threw a celebration to close the past and honor a healthy start. But ...
Read more